we had chose to share our joys and our difficult times with others throughout this long journey.
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| May 2009 | December 29, 2009 |
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Through prayer God allowed us to be comforted in knowing our son was going to be healed and he would be coming home, and through prayer our family was able to stay positive about Jack's outcome no matter what the doctors would tell us. Everyone knows that those prayers were answered, my son went home and began his eternal life with Christ. And while he was here he was able to experience the laughter and the happiness through the people around him. We worked our hardest to make sure Jack only felt our joy while he was healing and not our sorrow. And that is something that only God could do in our time of need. So I thank everyone who prayed for us and I thank especially all the doctors and nurses who were not afraid to speak God's word with us. God Bless You all!!!
| April 2009 | December 29, 2009 |
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Prayer request from a friend
My heart hurts the most, there's a void there where my child should be. I know he's better and I wouldn't dream of taking the bliss he is experiencing away from him. But that “I'm still here on earth and he’s not” side of me needs something. I carried him for nine months... nine long months and all I wanted was to hold him in my arms.
I remember saying that so many times to the nurses when I would have to go to the hospital twice every week to have tests done. They would always say "I bet your ready for this to be over with" and all I could say is that "I just want to hold him, to actually have him in my arms" and they would giggle and say "soon enough." The day I had Jack, there was a room full of people and I had only gotten to hold him for a short while and then they took him to clean him up and then everyone else held him and then offered to give him back. I said "no that's okay you go ahead" and all I was thinking, was how I would have forever to hold him. I would give anything to have that day back. So please pray that I will have no regrets or bitterness develop in my heart.
I also wanted to share with you another bit of information. An old high school friend of mine had been staying in Tulsa during Jack's journey (that's what I call it) and we were able to catch up and she had told me that her little girl, Skylar, had been diagnosed with lymphoid cancer, she is only 11 and has undergone more than her fair share of chemo, we were able share our prayers between Jack and Sky before God, and she called today to let me know that Skylar was now in full remission of the cancer, praise God!!
When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. -Job 23:9-10
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I have set up a memorial website for Jack, jack-isaac-voigt.last-memories.com, and it has a memories page where you can write your memories of Jack. I would be so honored and so pleased if you could take the extra time to write any of the memories you have of Jack or just ways he's touch your life through another.
Thank you so much, you have no idea how much it means to me to keep this child alive though our memories.
Friday, April 17, 2009
"For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." -2 Corinthians 1:5
It's been two weeks since our last update, and though it's been difficult, God has carried us. We've been staying busy, and that helps for a bit, but when we sit still, it's easy to get bogged down in the whys and the what ifs. Please remember us in prayer for this. It's been difficult to accept that God's will and plan would work this way, but with support through prayer we know that God can reveal Himself to us, allowing us the peace that surpasses understanding.
God has also blessed us recently in a different way, and we are anxious to share it with you! Last week, Angi had an ultrasound done on her right leg. Our hematologist wanted to be updated on how the DVT (deep vein thrombosis, or blood clot) in her thigh is doing, if the blood thinners were working to dissolve it or not. Wednesday, we called to check on the results, and the person with whom we spoke said that they were completely gone! At first, we were skeptical, thinking that maybe they had the wrong results. As we talked more about it, we became cautiously optimistic, and the next day, the doctor confirmed that they are gone. Praise God! The next step is for Angi to stop taking the blood thinners, and we'll see if there is any kind of blood disorder or genetic defect that could be in her blood causing these clots. We're especially excited about that part, because for one, the medicine she has been on was giving her uncomfortable side effects, like mild to severe headaches. Plus, when a person is permanently on blood thinners, you always have to be cautious of wounds and bumps, because they're much more dangerous on the medicine. So thank God for this blessing!
Thank you for all the cards and notes expressing care and sympathy. We appreciate deeply the love and generosity that has been sent our way, and we pray God would bless you greatly. Do please continue to pray that we would continue healing and latching on to the Father, and that we would be able to be strong for each other. Pray that as we continue to mourn Jack, that Gaige would not feel neglected, and that we could help him cope as well. And pray against bitterness or jealousy on our behalf.
God has blessed us with so many people in our lives that have helped us and gone through a lot of this with us. But I confess that I, Tony, have managed to not be as grateful as I should for one in particular. My wife, Angi, has been stronger than any woman I have ever known. She was unwavering from the very beginning, like a house built on the Rock. Her faith has grown through this ever stronger, even when I myself had at one point become detached. Frustrated, I stopped praying and thinking about God. And because she is my friend, she rebuked me, loved me, and pointed me to the only One who could rub out the anger. I pray that you are blessed by someone in your life who loves you enough to kick you in the pants when you need redirecting. God has worked through her in my life, and I am so blessed to have her.
I pray that you feel God through all of this, that you would know we are nothing and that He is everything. To him be the glory and honor forever and ever, Amen.
"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." -Psalm 145:18
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I owe Jesus my life for what He has given my son through salvation and because of what He did "on the Cross of Calvary, Jesus died for you and me; there He shed His precious blood, so that from sin we might be free." Thank you again so much for the time everyone has invested in praying for this wonderful little blessing and thank you also for your continued prayers for our family and friends.
The angels that prayed for my baby
Weston and Will,
I want to thank both of you for your constant prayers for Baby Jack. Our prayers for healing Jack were answered, only better. What more could a mother ask for her child than for her baby to be cared for by Jesus himself. Baby Jack's time as God's soldier was complete, he did everything our Lord needed him to do here, and now He has greater things for him to finish in heaven. I pray you both continue to grow strong in God's word and are embraced by His angels daily.
We love you,
Angi, Tony, Gaige and God's angel Baby Jack
P.S. I think of that song by Mercy Me "I can only imagine" Baby Jack doesn't have to imagine anymore, he's living it now. Just close your eyes and imagine what he is seeing and feeling at this very moment, that's what I do when I get sad. And those thoughts make me smile and it feels like Jack is hugging me. So for me, I celebrate the day Baby Jack went to heaven because that is his real birthday.
Monday, April 6, 2009
"If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he
stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." -Psalm 37:23-24
Angi and I would like to thank you all for your continued prayer and support. The last 4 days have been a blur, and truth be told, we've been keeping to ourselves. Lots of prayer has carried us, and there have been moments of pain and frustration, but there has also been a lot of joy; daily we remind ourselves that Jack has a new body, a heavenly body free from fault or defect, and that we will indeed see him again. It seems to get harder daily as we see other babies or stumble across something that reminds us of Jack, but God is faithful, and He does not allow us to wander too far from His side.
His memorial service (which can also be read "celebration service!") will
be on Good Friday, April 10th at 11 a.m. at Boulevard Christian Church.
We know that we will both be weeping, but we do not wish for this to be a
depressing funeral. That's not what this is. By the end we hope you will
praise God for the transformation He has brought about in our son.
God bless you greatly.
"Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring
me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell." -Psalm 43:3
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack.
(We've been reading a lot of Psalms. Our favorites are Psalm 18, 23 of
course, 27, 42, 43, 62, 84, 95, 139, and more, I just stopped listing the
rest.)
"For with God nothing will be impossible"
Luke 1:37
Together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory but if we are to share
His glory we must also share His suffering.
Romans 8:17
Saturday, April 4, 2009
It's a terrific blessing the way that believers can be connected! We want to thank everyone for their encouragement. The hardest thing for us right now is
knowing what we will be missing, like first steps and first laughs. But we
also know that he will be beyond iv's and blood draws and ventilator
suctions. We are praying for God's comfort, and He has supplied it in many
ways, such as emails from people half the world away! They have kept us going, and
continue to keep us going.
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thank you so much for your support!! We all prayed for Jack to be healed, and now he is healed. Please know that this is a celebration. I have been taught time and again that the hardships we endure in this life only make us appreciate the eternal life we are promised through Christ. So knowing that my son is now living his eternal life completely fills me with comfort. Can you only imagine the things he is experiencing at this time? I can't wait till I see my Savior holding my son and saying, "Hello, we've been waiting for you."
Angi
A time to mourn and a time to dance
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity
under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, ...a time to mourn
and a time to dance" -Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Yesterday, at 6:19 p.m., Jack Isaac left my arms and was carried by the arms of Christ. We prayed for his healing and God answered those prayers to the fullest. Jack received the ultimate healing. If there were ever one to take my place and care for my son, I would want it to be Jesus.
Jack was 58 days old. He is still so very loved, not only by us, but by everyone else who prayed for him and thought of him. The unexplained trials we go through in this life allow us to realize how great the promise of eternal life truly is, to know that one day there will be no more tears and no more suffering. My baby is feeling a bliss of a nature I can only imagine. Jack was a very special boy; I watched him endure things that most grown men could not stand. He had a soul that reached out to you and held on. His doctors and nurses were touched by his tenacity and the sheer willpower he exhibited throughout his brief time
period with us. I do not understand God's will or plans. I only know His will is holy, and our minds cannot comprehend it. Tony and I both know that Jack achieved everything God intended for him to do, and we celebrate that he is home. This day is just as much cause for joy as the day he was born, and we praise God for it. We were both so deeply moved by his presence. We are both
better parents, better spouses, better Christians for having known him, and
he will be missed. He will be mourned. He will be loved, now and for
the rest of our lives.
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked will I leave. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May His name be praised." -Job 1:21
Before you were born I set you apart
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart"
-Jeremiah 1:5
After much heavy deliberation and prayer, Angi and I have decided to take Jack off the different machines tomorrow morning. They will allow us to hold him, and we will until God takes him from our arms. We know that Christ Himself will carry him home, and that comforts us. We know that "God Himself will be with him. He will wipe away every tear from his eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things will be gone forever." God has blessed us with a child that has changed our lives. He has been so very strong, stronger than I could possibly imagine a two month old child could be. He has revealed to us that no matter how low in Spirit a person can go, He is there. "If I go up to Heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." I pray that if you don't know my Father as the only hope that any of us have for comfort, that you will let Angi and I talk with you about Him. He has been the only stability in this whirlwind we have known, and we would love to share Him with you. He knows you better than you do.
Thank you for your irrepressible support. We value it more than any gift. Please pray that we would be continually comforted and continually reminded that Jack will be in the presence of God. How much better is it to be in the house of God than the house of man. Thank you and God bless.
"We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us." -2 Corinthians 1:7
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack
Together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory but if we are to share His glory we must also share His suffering.
Romans 8:17
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves." Psalm 68:19-20
First, the good news. The bleeding at the catheter site has slowed down a great deal! Previously, his bandage would have to be switched every few hours; today, he's had the same bandage since late last night and it hasn't been replaced to this point. It's still clean, too, minus a few areas on the side. So that's really cool!
The bad news is that the doctors have discovered an infection. Dr. Barton believes that there is an infection inside the blood clot, which will be hard to fix. We've started him on antibiotics, and I know that if it's God's will, the infection won't even have time to take root. Also, Jack's blood pressure is still in a state of fluctuation. He's on quite a bit of epinephrine to maintain that pressure, and even with it, it's still not really where we would like it. And thirdly, Jack is showing signs of liver failure. Because he has a form of kidney failure, the blood is backing up into his body, and the doctor says that can cause liver failure, which you can see in his clotting abilities. Granted, his leg is starting to do better than it had been, and that's a good sign, but please pray against it!
The bottom line is that Jack is in a very precarious state. Angi and I still believe 100% that God can save this baby, and that He alone can make Jack whole, praise God. But we also do not want to move the hand of God if He has already decided what Jack's outcome is to be. We love our baby so very much, and want to bring him home, but if God's will is to bring him to His Home, then no amount of fluid or pressure medicine is going to make him better. To that end, we have asked the doctors to implement a DNR, which means Do Not Resuscitate. There are a lot of different forms of this, and the one that we chose means that we do not support any escalation of medication to that which he already given. Our prayer is that Jack will get better on what he has now, and we will progressively wean him off the different medications. I can't tell you how hard it was to make this decision, and we ask that you continue in prayer that we made the right one, and that if God would have us move differently, that he would impress it upon us.
If you could keep praying, we would greatly appreciate it. Right now, Jack has been in a state of semi-consciousness for a bit, and we're afraid that the blood pressure could affect his other organs, including his brain. Please pray against that! We know that God is bigger than any clot and any damage that said clot could bring, but through prayer and petition we know that God can fix it before it happens. Again, please pray that there would be no liver damage, and furthermore that his other organs would be protected. Also pray that the infection would not take root and that there would be no complications from it. Pray that the antibiotics would wipe it out. And pray for us, as well. Pray that we would be able to discern God's will in this difficult time, and that we would be able to have comfort through the Holy Spirit, knowing that either way, God's will is done, and that we can praise Him one way or the other. Pray for Gaige, that he would not blame God for anything that should happen to his baby brother, and that he also would be comforted. And on a tangent, Angi's dad, Mack, is having a back surgery on Friday. Pray that it would go well and that he would, according to scripture, Do not be afraid, just have faith (John 5:36).
God bless all of you for your continued faithfulness to us in prayer. I pray that He would bless you beyond measure.
"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So I say with confidence, the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid." -Hebrews 13:5 (Thank you, Will and Weston!)
Tony and Angi
| March 2009 | December 29, 2009 |
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
"Those who know your name trust in you, for you, oh Lord, do not abandon those who search for you." -Psalm 9:10
This weekend was a little bit of a coasting type of weekend. Jack's blood pressure remains low, and he's fluctuated back and forth with it, but that's about it. Last night, around the time his dialysis circuit was due to be changed, Jack's leg started bleeding, and hasn't really stopped even now, though it is a slow bleed. At first no one was terribly concerned about it, thinking it would slow and stop, and that changing out the bandage constantly would slow the clotting process. Today, however, Jack's saliva was pink, indicating internal bleeding. Dr. Powel believes he does have bleeding inside his body, and is talking about life support should we need it. She also told us that she's sorry. I would accept that if Jack was going to die. But Jack is not going to die, and I reject that. As many people are praying for this baby, Jack is going to show all of us a giant miracle in his tiny body, and all will know that God saved this child. It isn't the doctors who are so willing to give up. God is going to save this baby.
Thank you for your prayers to this point. Angi and I appreciate them more than we can say. Please now pray that Jack's pressure would come back up so that there would be no concern or risk for heart failure. Please pray that Jack's body would resume clotting the way it is supposed to clot, and also that his normal blood functions would continue. Pray that he doesn't get any infections or other organ complications from this long process. And please pray for us, that we would continue to be strong for each other, and that we can be there for Gaige. Thank you and God bless you.
"For God alone, Oh my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him." -Psalm 62:5-6
Saturday, March 28, 2009
"For you have been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat." -Isaiah 25:4
Sorry for the lack of update yesterday. We were a bit overwhelmed, between going to work and not getting back till late, bringing Gaige up, etc. Yesterday was a pretty rough day, I'll come out and say. Angi and I went to get some food before noon, and Angi felt confident that she could leave and it would be okay. We had a new nurse named Rob Anne, but we also had a pump nurse named Melissa who we've had a time or two before. We let them know we were leaving, and I dropped Angi off at the hospital at around 12:15. I got a very emotional phone call a few minutes later, and it took me a minute to figure out what was going on. Eventually, this is what I discovered.
Last night, when our normal night nurse Elizabeth left this morning, she noticed there was some sediment in his Foley (urine) catheter. The day shift decided to flush the catheter to get rid of the junk, and when she couldn't get it to flush, it slipped out. I don't know if she was panicked (I would have been) or not, but she tried to put it back in, and it wouldn't go in. In fact, he started bleeding profusely from the penis, and continued to do so for a while. Angi sent me a picture of it later, and it's not pretty. I'll spare you. The doctor came in and looked at it, deciding not to try to put the Foley back in. Elizabeth believes that the balloon that keeps the catheter in the bladder must have deflated. Furthermore, she said that she thinks there may have been some tissue buildup around it, which would explain its inability to be replaced, and they are discussing having an urologist step in for a second opinion. We strongly support this idea.
Jack is also still fluctuating in his blood pressure. This morning, the nurse was giving him a bath, and he got a little fussy. His blood pressure was normal before that, but when she put on his cd (which is great- piano and cello arrangements of hymns), and gave him a dose of fentenol (sedative), he went to sleep and his pressure dropped. We've noticed that when Jack rests, he REALLY relaxes, and his blood pressure drops. He is on a lot of medicine to regulate his blood pressure, which they have been able to wean down by half, so praise God! The problem is that while he is going up and down, they can't pull any extra fluid off of him, because it's too taxing on his body. He's maintaining a zero balance, which means they're able to take off all the fluid they're putting in via medicine and blood, but no more.
So! In all of this, we have new things to ask of in prayer. Please pray that Jack would heal and that lifelong function in his... body would be restored and secure. Pray that there are no blood clots or scar tissue in the urethra, and that he will continue to heal. The really nice thing is that Jack didn't seem to be in too much pain through all of this, and even now hasn't really shown too much discomfort. Pray too that his pressure would consistently normalize, and that they will be able to start pulling fluid from him again. And keep praying for Gaige, too. It's hard on him to be away from Angi, and he also doesn't have her discipline while he stays with his grandpa, and he can kind of be... well, a teenager.
Yet through this mostly downer of an update, I hope you don't think we have stopped praising God, because it's through His strength we are able to remain here with Jack. With his support through the Spirit we are able to count on each other, and that's a terrific blessing. I can't imagine what this would be like to someone who didn't have a devout wife like Angi with whom I can endure this. And without the strength of God, I would have given up long ago. And without family and friends praying for us and supporting us, how could we continue? So thank you, too, and God bless.
"Wait patiently on the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently on the Lord."
Thursday, March 26, 2009
To be certain of what we do not see
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:16
Today was a different kind of day. I had to be at work today from 1-5, so Angi decided she would take a much-needed break and go home for a bit, pick up Gaige, visit coworkers, etc. Plus our favorite and most dependable nurses were on during the day, so Angi was confident that if anything went bad, they would notify us. So we went and grabbed something to eat (at Qdoba, which is very tasty, in my opinion) and headed home. Pretty soon after we left, however, things with Jack started to get a little worse. His blood pressure started to drop, and his medicines had to be upped several times. At one point (and even still to this point), his medication was at a .5 concentration, which is used for children and babies with no blood pressure at all. Even at that, his blood pressure was still dropping. Being the awesome nurses that they are, they called Angi to let her know, and so Angi started a text chain and with a lot of prayer, his stats started to recover. So thank you for your prayers!
Right now, his stats are fluctuating, and we can still use all the prayer we can get. Pray that the blood pressure can be maintained with a lower dose of medicine successfully. Pray that his lungs will continue to do their job, and that he will breathe past the ventilator as much as he can safely. Pray that they would fully expand. Right now he's letting the vent do all his breathing, and his CO2 levels are rising again because of it. Pray that we would not need to do a second treatment of the tPA. Dr. Barton would like to do another on Monday, and he wants to do a stronger dose this time. We really don't like the idea of that. I feel God blessed us with no side effects with the first one, and of course we believe that God is God of all, and in control. But I'd rather not push our luck. Also, please pray for Gaige, Jack's big brother. He has been home with his grandpa this whole time, and he's starting to feel rather lonely. He's come up and visited during spring break, and a couple other weekends, but that doesn't make going home away from his mom any easier. Tonight he's staying with his Uncle Greg. Please just pray that Gaige would be comforted and that he would have his brother home soon. :)
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1
God bless you all.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Lord is merciful and gracious; slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. Psalm 103:8
Today at 8 Jack went in for his scheduled catheter and dye test. The doctor ran the catheter from his thigh into his inferior vena cava in his heart to check on the presence of the blood clot. He could only get it so far up, and discovered that the treatment yesterday did not clear the clot from his vessels. This is very discouraging, but God is still on His throne, and can still heal my son.
From there, Dr. Kimberling decided that since they had Jack in the cath lab, they would go ahead and check on the pressures in his heart. I'm really glad they did this, because they discovered that some of the pressures in his right ventricle were much higher than they would like; Dr. Kimberling poked around a little bit more and decided that the pulmonary arteries were a bit too thin, so he put a stint in both the left and right arteries which lead to the lungs. This will certainly relieve some of that pressure, and will possibly allow better flow through his heart altogether. So praise God! This was a blessing in what could have been a very disappointing procedure report.
So now Jack is back in the room with us, and his swelling is still much lower than it had been a couple days ago. He seems to be much more alert now as well. Thank you for all the prayers and consideration that you've shown my family. We appreciate it so much. And send us cool verses that you come across, and we'll put them on our scripture wall!
"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him." Nahum 1:7
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Just a quick little addendum as I promised. They changed up the exact procedure today, and instead of going in with a catheter to the blood clot itself, they decided to pump the medicine into the body systemically, which means that they didn't have to do any kind of cutting or other surgery. Dr. Barton said that this is just as effective as the other route without the trauma to the veins of running a catheter in. So that's good. The drip started at 3:30 today and will end in a few hours at 3:30 a.m. We have seen Jack respond fairly well to the medicine; his blood gas came back very good. Also, some really great news is that he is dropping swelling, not only since the medicine was administered, but since early this morning. He even opened his eyes for the first time in over a week today. That was awesome! We're not done with the medicine yet, so we still have a bit farther to go, but everything looks pretty good so far. The only misstep in it has been that he bled a little bit around the catheter spot on his leg, but it wasn't too bad and has since either stopped or slowed to a point that it's not a worry.
Tomorrow at 8 is when we'll really get to see how effective the medicine is. They will be taking him to the catheter lab and running a catheter, releasing a dye in his chest to see how well the tPA cleared out the veins in and around his heart. From there, with God's grace, we'll see a very high dissolve rate and won't need to do a second dose of the medicine. Please pray for this to be the case! (Granted, most of you won't see this until after we've already gotten the results back, but pray for Jack anyway!) If it turns out that it's just a partial dissolve, the medicine will be administered again on Thursday. Hopefully, however, we'll have a really good result from today's dose.
Praise God! Praise God because our baby is such a fighter! He's been through a lot of tribulation, and he's still kicking. Praise God because the swelling is coming down, and we can see his eyes again. Praise God because He's worth it regardless!
God bless.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
"If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believeth." Mark 9:23
Jack is having the procedure today. Just a real quick rundown: they're doing the echo cardiogram right now, and they're going to get him some more blood platelets. He's at 70k and he needs to be at 100k. They're also going to do an ultrasound on his brain to make sure there's no damage before they do the catheter. Once the platelets are in and the ultrasound is done, they will start him on a drip that will go for 6 to 12 hours, depending on how he responds. Once everything is done, I'll post an update and let you know what they think. God bless you for praying for my baby. Keep praying until he comes home, and even then it'd still be nice. :)
Don't be afraid; just believe, and (s)he will be healed." Luke 8:50
Monday, March 23, 2009
"Turn your ear to me; come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me." Psalm 35:2
I'll come out with the hard stuff first today, and get it over with, so that we can praise God for the good things He is doing. We met today with our PICU floor doctor, Dr. Barton. He is the one who first recognized there was fluid in Jack's abdominal cavity and drained it out. We're pretty fond of this doctor, and he has been forthright with us. Today he was very level with us: he let us know that there's not many more safe steps, and we are about to require more aggressive action, and he thus has an idea for the next step. This step is still just a possibility, and not a definite procedure. Dr. Barton has to confer with our surgeons (Dr. Nokaidoh and Dr. Barth) before he can even be sure we can do it. There is a medicine that is commonly used in heart attack victims called TNP. TNP attacks and destroys blood clots, and it does it quite well, with a nearly 100% success rate. The procedure would entail entering the body with a catheter and shooting TNP directly onto the clot, allowing blood flow to be restored to the heart and the lymphatic ducts to drain. Now the risk and it's a huge one... The risk is that the medicine has a chance to cause hemorrhage in the brain, which would be immediately fatal.
Dr. Barton did let us know that if it were his child in the same situation, he would do it. He also allowed that in the last 15 years, it has happened once that the brain hemorrhaged. So it definitely can happen, but it is rare. He came in today at noon and shared this with us on his rounds, and he said that he'll be back before the day is up (most likely.) So far - at 3:10 p.m. - we haven't seen him yet.
Please pray for us today. Please pray that God would bless us with His wisdom, and that He would bless us with a peace about whichever way we should take this road. We believe that Jack will be healed, and we trust that God's Will will be done in either scenario. Please pray that if it's His will, another option would present itself that would allow Jack to be healed without this decision. They are still treating him today as though this option is not being discussed; they put him back on the nitric gas, and we're hoping that his fluid levels will diminish and perhaps the blood clot will dissolve on its own. Please, please pray for this. It would be absolutely terrific if the means to his healing would show up before we have to take this route.
We do praise God right, though, because Jack has done really well on the ventilator. His breathing and his gas numbers have been better even before he was put on the oscillator, and that's praiseworthy indeed! We praise God because we have now been in the hospital for 7 weeks, and our family and friends have made it possible for us to stay here and not worry about gas money or food money or even bills. God bless you all for that. And we praise God because Jack has such a wonderful extended family in everyone who is in continual prayer for him. Again, God bless you all for that. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I leave you with two more verses.
"Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9
"Then your light shall break forth, like the morning; your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you. The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard." -Isaiah 58:8 (Thanks Amanda!)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Just a quick update today. Yesterday we pulled Jack off the oscillator, and today he has had consistently good stats. His blood gases have been good, and he has been weaned down on the oxygen percent a good bit. Even his fluid has been draining out of his abdominal cavity. So today is a really good day, and we owe it all to God. We have been pouring over the Word and finding all the different possible verses we can that speak of healing and delivered promises. (If you have any good ones, let us know! We've been writing the ones we find on post-its and sticking them to the walls and doors. Thank you all for your consistent prayer and your dedication to our child. We're sorry that you can't come back and see him now, but I promise that when we bring him home, we'll show him off like crazy.
Today our specific prayers that you can aid us in are that his catheter for his abdomen will continue to drain, and that he will continue to resist infection or sickness. Also pray that his blood pressure would be maintained so that they can continue to aggressively pull the fluid from his blood and wean him further on his medicines.
-Angi, Tony, Gaige, and Jack
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Jack is a child of the Most High God
Today, Tony and I had a conference with the doctors. Jack had been on a machine called an oscillator, which is a breathing pump that handles all of his breathing for him via little puffs of oxygen. This means that Jack could be sustained indefinitely on this machine whether he is able to breathe on his own or not. We feel like this is man's way of intervening in God's process. If Jack is to get better and be able to breathe on his own (which we 100% believe is God's will,) than he needs to be off this machine. We asked the doctors to put him back on the ventilator. The doctors were very supportive, and agreed that this was an acceptable step in a good direction. The best part is that the doctors with which we spoke do believe in God, and they vaguely suggested that if he is to get better, it will be because God willed it so. So now we are back on the ventilator, and Jack has accepted it well. He is breathing what the machine supports, plus most of the time he will breathe 2-10 breaths a minute in addition to it.
Jack is going to get better; we believe it, and so should you. Please pray for his continued progress. We are specifically praying that the fluid in his tissue would come out, so that there would be less pressure on the lungs and kidneys. Once the fluid comes out, we also need to pray for that clot in his SVC. The clot is the core of everything that is wrong. We know God can and will destroy that clot, and we need that prayed for as well. (This is Tony typing.. I'm a robot.. I like to type eloquently and Angi is making fun of me for it.) Seriously, please pray for these things specifically. We love Jack and want him to be healed, as we know you do as well. We're intent and focused on bringing him home. We know it's going to happen. We accept and expect it. Thank you for all the support you've given. We appreciate it more than we can say. Do also say a prayer for us as well. We are positive God is bringing him home, but there are a lot of ways in which the enemy is trying to distract us.
Jack is a child of the Most High God. No weapon formed against him will prosper!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
This morning, Jack was put on a different breathing machine called an oscillator. It does all the breathing for him. He was put on it because his CO2 levels were rising higher than the doctors would like. We have been praying for Jack to live, of course, but also for God's will to be done. The doctors give a very disconcerting prognosis; our surgeon came in this morning and told us that some of the cardiologists are still optimistic, however it is very grim. But we trust in God. We trust that if it is in God's will for Jack to come home, that he will come home as healthy as he can, and that God's healing power is limitless. If it is not His will, then I pray that we can accept that with grace. We just don't want Jack to suffer.
Pray for us, please. I know and appreciate that you have been praying; we appreciate it more than we can say. Pray for us that God's will would be done to his glory, whether it be for Jack to make his miraculous recovery we all accept and expect, or if it would be that Jack would be taken home to God's glory. Also, pray for Tony and I that we would be able to weather this storm and come out on the other side. And for Gaige, that he would understand what is going on and not be bitter or angry with God. And especially pray for Jack. Pray that this new oscillator would restore his CO2 to the levels it needs to be (and that he can be put back on the ventilator soon), and that his fluid would continue to drain from the machine he was put on yesterday. Pray that he wouldn't suffer. Thank you for your prayerful support and your friendship. It means a lot.
It's our first year, I have been staying in Tulsa with Jack. Tony drives back and forth from here to Muskgee for work, as well as to check on our older son Gaige. It's not what we had expected.
| February 2009 | December 29, 2009 |
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
My husband and newborn son are in Tulsa at St. Francis, Jack has had his first of many surgeries. It was a success, praise God Almighty. We are celebrating a new life and an older one.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
We got to hold him for about an hour, and then when he was getting his first shots and everything in the nursery, we noticed that he wasn't crying. After some observation, the doctors became afraid of complications due to a lack of oxygen in his blood. He was then life flighted to St Francis in Tulsa, and we have been there since. He has had 3 surgeries, and is slated for one more. His problem is that when he was born, the two main veins that stem from a normal heart, the greater vessels were backwards. Here is a link explaining it.
http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/heart-encyclopedia/anomalies/transposition.htm
God blessed him with a hole in the septum, the dividing wall between the ventricles, allowing good oxygen circulation despite the defect. The night he made it to St. Francis, they went into his heart via a catheter and inflated a balloon in the upper septum, allowing more oxygen flow. Then last Thursday, they went into the heart and made the change to his vessels (the procedure is called the Arterial Switch.) These procedures were both successful, and the doctors are pleased. The complication is that at the same time, Jack has had a problem with his lungs, which may be a result of the ventilator. It has really messed things up, and a couple nights ago he had to have a chest tube placed in his lung to drain it. Now we're waiting on the swelling to come down that happened when he had the surgery. When he is back to normal, they can finish closing his breast bone together and eventually take out the ventilator. Assuming everything goes well, next week, Jack will be 3 weeks old and we will have got to hold him for only one hour. So we are desperate to pick him up and for him to be better. Right now I'm driving back and forth every night when I have to work, and the rest of the time, staying in Tulsa at the Ronald McDonald house with Angi. Our older son, Gaige, is staying with his grandpa. Thanks for your prayers. They mean more than anything else right now.
February 3, 2009
Jack Isaac was born on 2/3/09 at 2:18 p.m. He weighed 8.3 lbs and was 20 inches long. He was so beautiful and looked so healthy, I cried when I first held him. I can still feel his weight against me as the nurse laid him across my chest. It was the happiest moment in my life.